Val Doonican was Right .....

He he ..... I can just see you with your calculators working out how old I am. And if you remember his cardie and the rocking chair – then you can’t be far off my great age either.

Remember with great age - comes great wisdom J

A line of the song Val’s best remembered for came into my head this morning. I’d stepped out to walk down to collect the post from the plastic bin at the end of our drive about a mile away. I am blessed to live in one of the MOST stunningly beautiful parts of Mid-Wales.  Rabbits to the left of me, grazing lambs to the right and Red Kites circling lazily overhead.

If I turn to the North-West I can see the ridge of Cader Idris mountain sharp against the skyline and to the South East the mist hanging over the valley and the River Rhiw.

So what am I doing?  I am walking, head down, pondering. Fretting away at niggling worries AND chewing my lip for maximum anxiety effect - not to mention the wrinkles I’m growing with my furrowed brow. When I reach the gate and collect the post from the bin I stop. Then it hits me. I have reached the end of the road and I have seen nothing, nothing – well other than the mud, stones and puddles at my feet for the last mile.

“Erm hello Lesley?” My ears prick up – important message to self coming in over the air waves. “Just what do you think you are doing?” Internal Self has clearly decided to give External Self a good talking to this morning – so I’d better listen up.

“Straighten that spine girl – go on really stretch it. You might even find another half inch of height in there if you really try. Good. Now, drop your shoulders - ALL the way my girl. Wearing them as earrings is never a good plan. Now lift your head up. Go on chin UP! That’s it ALL the way. Uh huh! Clever clogs. No, not so your nose is pointing at the sky eejit – just so you can ‘look the world right in the eye”. Now breathe and look around you slowly, take it all in. Press the pause button on that infernal, internal chatter and let everything calm down inside. Breathe .......Keep looking around.Slow it all down, take it all in. Now doesn’t that feel better?”

And it did. The internal hassle and bustle and worry bead counting had stopped. My heart rate was steady and my worries seemed far less important. I looked at the beauty around me, heard the noises of the countryside, felt the breeze on my face and could see what lay all around me. Wowzer! I set off back up the drive – this time with my head up, my back straight and breathing more easily and openly.  Once home I went upstairs to my office, dumped all my worries down on a list, made a cup of tea and started to work through them.

Life is not fair, life is hard and sad and full of hurdles to be overcome. That IS the nature of life. However, it is also GOOD and how we view it, determines how we deal with it. In Val Doonican’s song a mother gives her son sound advice. When you look directly at what lies ahead of you, take in the bigger picture with a clear view - your energy and feeling levels shift into a more positive frame. You are better equipped to tackle what needs to be done.

So all together now girls” Walk tall, walk straight... and look the world right in the eye”

Wild Women – Go DO!

The Tiger in the Bedroom

Lest you think this is a euphemism for an extremely lively and exciting love life – think again. The tiger in question was in my head, in my dream and in my bed this morning. “So what’s the deal?  You’re a wild woman. You’re bound to have an overactive imagination.”

Hmm true. Yes, I do have very vivid dreams from time to time, and they are often significant. However, it’s been very quiet on the nocturnal fantasy front for a while. Hence why a large, very, very vibrant orange and black, extremely hungry and clearly hunting for his next meal sort of a tiger registered as off the Dream Richter scale.

So dramatically powerful was this beast that I woke up totally discombobulated and had a quick check to see that it was not lurking behind the wardrobe. Millie my Yorkshire terrier WAS at the foot of the bed – tho’ looking totally bemused.

Anyway, back to the tiger. I am now trying to make some sense of the ‘message’ I was given. My conclusion, after 2 cups of strong tea, is that my subconscious has clearly being trying to tell me things quietly and persistently these last few weeks.  As I have failed to pay sufficient attention – it decided to shout at me. i.e. Here is a very scary tiger coming to eat you – do something! Geddit?

OK, OK I got it. Message roughly translated reads “Call yourself a Wild Woman - Huh? Then get up face your fears and tame this wild and scary thing before it eats you.”

So let’s backtrack to the dream. There I am stumbling on my hands and knees around the back of a car (please don’t ask why). The fact that it is on my hands and knees is very significant.  And then WOW – right in my face is the tiger.  We are nose to nose – so close I can see its whiskers, the fluffy little hairs on its nose oh...... and how could I forget – the HUGE canines. Yikes! Yikes! and triple Yikes. I slowly get up, turn and walk away purposeful-like. ‘Tis never a good idea to run in case the tiger thinks to give chase.

Then magically a shed appears. Yes, I said - shed.  You know, your common or garden 6 x 4 shed and helpfully the door is open. Whew. I dash in and close the door. Safe - or so  I think. Whoops the other end of the shed is also open.......I pause to reflect for a nanosecond that some sadist is designing this dream for me... and the tiger is now at the other door licking his lips.

Just at that movement I see the zoo keeper – a young woman. She looks extraordinarily like me. Well like me with long hair about 30 years ago. “Help!”  I squeak– could you please feed the tiger ..........NOW! “Sure.” The young woman responds by lobbing a huge steak - you know the sort you see in every Disney cartoon with the white fat round the outside and the bone in the middle. The tiger leaps, catches it in mid air and retires to the corner to chomp happily.

I close the shed door. I am now safe but in the dark. The tiger is still out there. Hmm. That wasn’t too clever. I do not wish to live in the shed. Besides I have to get up soon, feed the chickens, walk the dogs and start work at my PC.

I open the door. The tiger is curled up in the corner, contentedly licking its lips and comfortably replete after eating the huge steak. I walk up to it. It is still huge, orange (please see paragraph above for full description) .....yet he poses no threat. I turn and walk away. The young woman is waves and sends a friendly grin.

Aha! A light bulb moment dawns: 

Confucius he say “Face the tiger down. Call on your inner reserves when you need help. Ask and it will come. The solution may be very simple and you already have the answer within you.”

The chickens have been fed, the dogs walked, I’m back at my PC and sending out joining instructions for our next Go Wild for a Change – Personal Discovery weekend.

If you like my Blog please pass it on. My dream is to create and combine witha growing community of wild women, all sharing their stories and lessons for living life to the full.

45 Lessons for Life

This is something we ALL should read at least once a week. Make sure to read to the end. It was written by Regina Brent, 90 yrs old who was a regular columnist of the Plain Dealer, a major daily newspaper in Cleveland, Ohio. It's so good I wish I had written it.

“To celebrate growing older I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I have ever written”. 

1.       Life isn’t fair, but it is still good

2.       When in doubt, just take the next small step

3.       Life is too short to waste time hating anyone

4.       Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch

5.       Pay off your credit cards every month

6.       You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree

7.       Cry with someone. It’s more healing that crying alone

8.       It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it

9.       Save for retirement starting with your first pay packet

10.   When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile

11.   Make peace with your past so that it won’t screw up your present

12.   It’s OK to let your children see you cry

13.   Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about

14.   If a relationship has to be secret, you shouldn’t be in it

15.   Everything can change in the blink of an eye. Don’t worry – God never blinks

16.   Take a deep breath. It calms the mind

17.   Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful

18.   Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger

19.   It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else

20.   When it comes to going after what you love in life – don’t take no for an answer

21.   Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22.   Over prepare, then go with the flow

23.   Be eccentric now, Don’t wait for old age to wear purple

24.   The most important sex organ is the brain

25.   No one is in charge of your happiness but you

26.   Frame every so called disaster with these words “In 5 years will this matter”

27.   Always choose life

28.   Forgive everyone everything

29.   What other people think of you is none of you business

30.   Time heals almost everything. Give time time

31.   However good or bad a situation is, it will change

32.   Don’t take yourself so seriously – no one else does

33.   Believe in miracles

34.   God loves you because of who God is…. not because of anything you did or didn’t do

35.   Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of now

36.   Growing old beats the alternative – dying young

37.   Your children only get one childhood

38.   All that matters in the end is that you loved

39.   Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere

40.   If we threw all our problems in a pile and saw everyone elses, we’d grab ours back

41.   Envy is a waste of time . You already have everything you need

42.   The best is yet to come…

43.   No matter how you feel, get up, get dressed and show up

44.   Yield

45.   Life isn’t tied with a bow… but is still a  gift.

First Aid for your Self Esteem

It's easy to spot a woman with high self esteem. She projects a calm, positive inner confidence.  She is assertive about her needs, opinions, and feelings without being pushy. She is comfortable forming relationships and looks after her health and well being. Self aware, she is open to receiving feedback from others and actively looks for ways to learn and improve her behaviour and performance.  

Wa..Hey ! - wouldn't it be great if we could all be like that - all the time?

The reality is that in our high pressured world it's all too easy for our self-esteem to take a serious battering. I, like many other women, often feel pulled in so many different directions its very difficult at times to remember who I AM. Daily I juggle the roles of wage earner, business woman,  partner, mother, daughter, financial manager, carer, cook, cleaner, best friend, gardener, decorator, DIY specialist, personal shopper, hostess.... and many more.  

Even the strongest and most capable of women can be knocked back. We can be down so low that the journey back to strong self-esteem and belief in our abilities doesn't seem worth the effort. It can seem so out of reach it's easier to give up and console ourselves with self pity. However, if we do nothing about it, it may be a very long time before we accept that by not attending to our own self-esteem we sabotaged our own potential.  Ouch :-(

So how does it happen? Well, very, very easily actually. It may well be a single major factor which does the damage. The death or loss of a loved one, a serious personal injury or illness, redundancy or the failure of a business. All of these can tear down our belief in ourselves and our own value at a single stroke. 

Often, it's the cumulative effect of lots of minor setbacks - each one manageable on its own - that does more harm. And the worst thing is that we don't realise its happening until it's too late. We are so conditioned to leap from one hurdle to another sorting, mending and tackling as we go, we fail to appreciate how much of a battering our self esteem is taking until we are brought up short. Then we realise it's lying down badly injured and gasping for attention.

Rapid First Aid is called for!  Our internal self esteem needs to be nursed back to health and treated in future as the valuable inner resource it is.   

Your First Aid Programme
So whether your self esteem is chronically low, or you are just going through a dip you NEED to take action. For your own sake.  Alternatively, if you see a girl friend in trouble, please administer First Aid fast. She may not know how poorly she is.

Step 1
Check out my Tips to Tackle the Wobbles on this Blog

Step 2
Join our Go Wild for a Change residential break and meet like minded women giving their self esteem batteries a powerful boost. Follow the link to my website.

Step 3
Read and comment on my Blog to keep your self-esteem batteries fully charged in future

Step 4
Browse my Favourite Reading List and select a book or resource to keep you on track.

I hope you find building your own self-esteem as empowering and rewarding as I do. I'd love to hear how you are doing.

Good Luck

Mighty Mouse and the Windmills

Last weekend Mighty Mouse came to stay.

She arrived in a tiny powder blue Micra which rattled cheerfully over the cattle grid then bounced up the track to the duck pond. Curious lambs stood spellbound before skittering off in all directions. A solitary Welsh Black cow raised her head at the commotion. “Wow, Wow and Wow again”, said Mighty Mouse – pausing to take in the breathtaking 360 degree view. “Hey Hey - you can see the whole of the world from up here.” Her grin stretched from ear to ear. Then her little car negotiated the gate by the cow barn, puttered down the drive past the pine woods and finally rolled to a stop outside Magpie Hill – at Wild Women HQ and a rural escape with a difference.

Lest you think Mighty Mouse is a cartoon character – think again. Mind you - in full flow she is hugely hilarious. She is one of the original wild women; a feisty, fifty plusser who has bounced back from more life setbacks than you or I care to imagine with good humour and an infectious zest for life. She came to Magpie Hill for a breath of fresh air, for a respite from some of her own personal challenges and to lend us her support. Her story is the inspiration for our new Go Wild for a Change residential programme.

Mighty Mouse has been wrestling with cancer in one form or another for over 10 years. Each time she thought she’d sent it packing – it snuck back again. – trying ever more devious ways to sabotage her life and sap her spirit. Has it won? – has it heck! This diminutive woman has dealt with divorce, separation from her children, invasive surgery, chemotherapy and losing her chance to work – all without giving up or giving in. Why? Because she refuses to give the little ‘blighters’ - those corrosive cancer cells - the satisfaction of winning. Blessed with formidable sense of self and a spirit that refuses to stay down we are all the richer for having her in our lives.

Living with inoperable cancer is tough; coming to terms with its constant presence takes some doing. However, once you get your head around it, you gain a new perspective. What’s important in life becomes crystal clear. Self esteem and joy come from the simplest of pleasures; the company of loving friends, sexy red shoes, riding pillion on a Harley Davison, having a great haircut, wearing your favourite Issy Miyake perfume just for the hell of it and of course hugging a windmill.

Yes, you did read that correctly – hugging a windmill!

Now where we live in Powys it’s not called-Paradise of Wales for nothing. Wind turbines and wind farms are currently very dirty words. Those of us who live here do not want our serene and peaceful countryside stalked by invading armies of wind turbines and pylons. However, Mighty Mouse had never been up close and personal with a wind turbine and it appears that hugging a windmill was on her Bucket List. Say no more – we were off to the Top of the World!

OK, OK – so it’s not the Himalayas. Grant me a little artistic licence… plu-eeease. Nonetheless, it is but a short and bouncy 4 x 4 ride from Magpie Hill to Bwlch–y-Frridd and a stunning walk along wonderfully accessible bridle paths across the Top of the World. With the wind ruffling your hair you can gaze across to majestic Cader Idris silhouetted against the sky, spot fluffy bog cotton blowing in the breeze and watch buzzards lazily circling on the thermals way above your head. Then again, if you have a mind to, you can choose to hug a wind turbine as there are 17 of them up here. All stood to attention and waited patiently for Mighty Mouse to make her choice.

In fairness she didn’t actually hug one. By the time we’d picked our way through the boggy bits, hopped from one tuft of elephant grass to another and been diverted by a botanical discussion on the medicinal properties of whortle berries (bilberries to you) we were quite relieved to find our way barred by a fence.

Discretion proved to be the better part of valour. So we stood and stared in awe as the wings of these leviathan towers whoomphed, whoomphed and whoomphed - pulsing steadily above our heads. Just to prove she did it we took photographic evidence.

Mighty Mouse was so elated that anything else we did was bound to be a bit of a come down – wasn’t it. Hey hey. I had a cunning plan up my sleeve. What if we could knock another one off the bucket list? I handed the keys of the 4 x 4 to Mighty Mouse. How about you take us off roading?

“I can’t…….. ! “Pardon - run that one by me again!” Wild women don’t do “I can’t”. They do “I CAN, I AM and I WILL.” So she jolly well did!

Grinning like a jack in the box as the bobbled about on the front seat half hidden by the steering wheel, Mighty Mouse took us off across country, over stony fields, down tracks which the rain had washed away, past a flock of sheep who rushed at us thinking we were the farmer come to feed them and finally splashed through a ford with a great squeal of delight. “You must get more women doing this - it’s fantastic!”

It was - and I will !

We celebrated that night with a glass of champagne.

Mighty Mouse has returned home and back to hospital for yet more topless photographs. She is such a poser girls. However, she will be back and joining us on our next Go Wild for a Change programme on June 11th – 12th sharing her personal tips for bouncing back from life’s setbacks and making you hoot with laughter as she does it.

If you’d like to join us or if know a female friend or colleague who could benefit from our residential programme – please visit our website www.womengowildoutdoors.com or contact Lesley by phone or email 0845 094 8486. lesley@womengowildoutdoors.com